Redefining Success.
Maybe we have fallen blind to society’s definitions, or maybe we have agreed to these terms and pushed them on ourselves, our peers, our children, and our future. Success has been defined for us. Money. Fame. Followers. Weight. Grades. Productivity. All these quantitative values with numbers that we all seemed to agree on, quickly, early, and for the rest of our lives. Some of these numbers come with titles. Rich. Popular. Smart. Fit. Graduating summa cum laude. Successful.
How far will we go to reach these numbers? Just to identify ourselves as worthy in someone else’s eyes. How does redefining success bring intention to our motivation, drive, and life purpose?
I challenge you to redefine success. What makes you? Yes, you! Not your children, peers, or partner. What makes you feel successful?
A past version of Lily Harding spent hours upon hours studying grasping for that A+ like an oxygen mask. That A+ meant I was smart. I had something going for me. My intention was to get a ‘good grade’. Let’s shift that. Let’s change my intention to learning. I study for x amount of time, a healthy amount to learn, understand, and appreciate this knowledge that I am privileged to be exposed to. Because I value knowledge and education rather than the title: summa cum laude and a GPA that reads - this girl is perfect. My definition of success grew from: I must get an A+ or I am dumb —> I am proud to have learned and understood this new material regardless of my grade.
A second scenario. Maybe you don’t identify with the perfect honors student I described from my past life in high school. The United States has made productivity the golden gate to success. This country says: I am productive therefore I am successful. This mindset neglects ALL other aspects of life. Rest, self-care, physical movement, and spending time with nature. In the typical work day, all of these things are negligent when we have a ‘really productive day’. I have redefined my successful day as a day that is filled with intention and listening to my body. A day that is filled with balance.
On Monday that meant doing laundry, watching tv, and going to bed early. On Tuesday that meant going to class all day, going to the gym, and finding time for a relaxing yoga class.
Now I understand, not everyone is a second-semester senior in college with 12 credits and class twice a week. There are some things we have to do, and how can we do those things and bring our new idea of success into them?
Alright now that I have shared my personal statements. Here is a template for redefining your own success. Remember to be very specific.
Step 1: List your top 3 values:
kindness
love
compassion
Step 2: What is your current definition of success?
Grades above a B+
Exercising every day
Getting a really good job with lots of money when I graduate
Always being busy (I am more productive this way)
Step 3: Rephrase your definition of success to intentionally align with your values (feel free to delete any definitions if they don’t work anymore):
Learning to the best of my ability (compassion)
Listening to my body. Rest when I need to rest. Move when I need to move. (love)
Finding a job that helps others (love) and will support my current financial needs (self-compassion)
Always being busy is going to make you more productive because you inherently have more things to do and get done. Productivity is not one of my values therefore this goal does not align with my new definition.
Redefining success is an individual journey. One that we each must take to alter society’s entire perception of what it means to live a successful life. We must understand and accept that success looks different for everyone and varies from day to day.
How can we value doing when we can’t do without breathing?
